It’s almost 2015

It is almost 2015 and I’ve been ready for this year to end since May.

Funny how everytime I feel sad or vulnerable I come and write here, I guess this way I feel like I have somewhere to just complain or be sad.

I have to agree 2014 has not been all bad, however the bad definitely outweighs the good, which is sad, but a new job and better pay will never replace my Best Friend, I guess that is why I am feeling nostalgic lately.

I visited my Best Team’s parents this weekend and while it was amazing to see them and it was nice to talk to them and all the family (I was lucky and got to see all her siblings too) It is still heartbreaking, her dad still sees me and brusts into tears and I really can’t blame him, when he saw me on the past it was because she was there with me and  needless to say this time she wasn’t.

Also I’ve been missing spending time with her, this season we saw eachother a lot, maybe because we were just in a good mood or maybe the Christmas spirit, last year we did a shopping spree, had dinner, had a bunch of teas, I saw her before Christmas on the 23rd and then right back when she got home from Tepic. And I miss talking with her, I was just yesterday at Forever 21 trying to find some tights to wear on the Christmas party at the office and I got a flashback of us shopping last year chasing a particular girl for the purse she wanted, and it made me happy to have those fun memories, but later on it made me sad, because I was alone…

This year no-one will be missing the Christmas dinner no-one has asked yet, she ALWAYS asked, got things going, but this year Thanksgiving was for all more of a commitment than my friends wanting to be there, and it’s sad because I kind of feel that was the last one, the last thanksgiving I will be celebrating, mostly because no-one cares, and she did, we went through our next year goals together and well that is not happening again, I guess 2015 will be about the new traditions, but I will sure miss the old,

Good things happened, don’t get me wrong but 70% of this year it’s been sad and I’ve spent crying…

So yes I am crying and I am sad, but I am also happy this year will be ending soon, I can’t wait to start fresh, get a car, go travelling with my mom, do personal projects and focus on me, this next year I will try to give me happiness, because that is how it should be it’s clear not just today but in general my happiness it’s in my hands and I can’t be placing something so important in the hands of others…

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